Don't Forget to Live
by OctavCat
Summary: Lil' depressed Weegee. Tried to be poetic. Marioverse to Nintendo


He would look at the sky and sometimes, let himself stretch a hand towards the little stars in the dark blue ether. He thought that this sky hadn't changed much over the centuries, hence why looking at the sky made it easier to think about the Middle Age or Antiquity, or even, when he was young, about a fairy land. He'd thought flying would feel so wonderful, and he'd been right. Given you don't have fear of heights, just imagine yourself… Luigi was feeling kind of powerful in the sky. He was looking everywhere, he could go anywhere in any amount of time. If he wanted to go somewhere, he'd fly down there. Maybe he could do everything he wanted. Maybe he was feeling freedom.

Right now, he was high up in the sky, above everything, flying with his fox suit because it's cold up there. Looking towards his feet he saw the ground, with its mountains, its forests, its valleys, softly enlighten by the moonlight. It was windy in the sky and his suit was keeping him warm. He wasn't feeling anything under his feet; he hadn't any burden to bear because of gravity. Hovering. Feeling light. A little like in the water carrying us, but this time, no need to worry about breathing. This time, there wasn't anybody around him and he was staying out of reach of his problems. He could even flee, rebuild a new life, in another kingdom or well hidden in the countryside, or even among the stars. In the form of a ball, he could even roll over to see the void right in front of him, in other words, space. He could let all of his members hang down. And this way try to forget all of his problems. Cooling down. Calming down, peaceful somewhere without any other sound than that of nature. No other humans, no worry anymore. No Mario, no Daisy, no Toads. He could sleep up there… and he did at some time in spite of him. Because he was so tired. He'd learn again how to live tomorrow.

The breeze in the sky was colder and harsher than he'd expected, but it was still very okay. Somehow, it was… flavoured, with the scent of hundreds of forest, he bet. Don't you notice that it smells good outside, especially at dawn and at twilight, when water would deposit on the leaves? Luigi wondered how this place wasn't used for meditation. A plane? Asphyxia or pressure shock? Yeah, given you're stupid. Luigi was well-built and used to it so he admitted he could skip the time of adaptation. Otherwise, anyone could go there. Was it a bad thing though, that nobody came? No, because Luigi could stay alone and preserve his personal, secret space. Maybe it was a little garden nobody thought of yet anyone could see.

He wanted to sleep, though the fear of falling while unconscious kept him very awake. There, there was silence. What does it mean, silence? For instance, it means that when you lay down on the floor of your bedroom, there isn't anybody talking, no machine running, no sound of public transportation, no public light, no sound of anybody else than yourself and nature. Luckily, the sound of nature was very calming. It was so soft. It'd lull you to sleep, and Luigi let a big yawn before letting his arms and his head fall behind, legs folded at his chest.

Those were the moments he sought for. The day he entered an old, ruined church back in the "real world", he felt detached from the world. There, he remembers, he'd started to cry, thinking at what extent he had become what he had once thought was the wrong path. How much he'd changed his mind. He was condemned to do evil sometimes, because that's how life worked. That's what the other taught him. Back in the sky, now, he did want to cry. Maybe he shouldn't have left like that. Maybe he should've showed more interest in his brother, maybe he should have stayed there at least for the night. This reaction, he already had it once, back in high school. He could no longer bear the party his… comrades were attending; there, alone, filmed and sometimes made fun of. What was he doing there? He wasn't having fun at all. He only felt rejected. Him leaving the party surprised the others. It proved in a sense that HE was the one wanting to be left alone. Yes. He didn't want to be there for the others, and the others had only been denying the fact he was alone there. They showed surprise at his will to leave the party but they knew they couldn't be surprised. Luigi didn't allow them that.

And now? The face of the princess portrayed what Mario could be feeling inside. The surprise that his little brother would change his plan of the week to leave right away and no longer see him for at least another week. Although Luigi knew his brother didn't actually feel much concern: he was just taken aback. Thinking of Peach's reaction, thinking of his own reaction and what it meant, thinking of what was left to be done and the damage to his mental balance it meant, only made Luigi tear up. It was a good thing that whenever he thought about hurting himself he just started to cry even more. Up there, Luigi thought, his tears would be seen and heard by nobody; left alone they would touch the ground. They would just glimmer with the moonlight than disappear in thinner and thinner delicate drops. He could cry there. However as soon as he started, he felt embarrassed and annoyed by his own hiccupping and whining sounds, so he stopped. Was that a bad thing though? He could still let silent tears and let himself vent out without destroying himself in huge weeping. He was glad he always kept some tissues with him. He flew higher even, wanting to touch the sky while he was already there, because he wanted to go further. He just feared he'd lose himself, since the Earth was rotating without him, at least when he was too high up. It somehow reminded him times at the beach: sometimes waves carry you far away from your parasol.

There was this sentence he kept repeating himself. "Don't forget to live". Why this choice of words? First, it sounded good to him. Second… maybe it also meant that the difficulties in life were destroying him, that he was… dying, among them. Besides… it prevented him from thinking of hurting himself or worse, thinking about ways to kill himself. Even if it was just imaginary, it would still trigger more depressing thoughts after. And finally… in this case, living mostly had the meaning of profiting of life, feeling joy and comfort outside. Those things, maybe you can experience them only if you have a lot of big difficulties and you want to forget them. When you have a lot of problems to solve, sometimes, you just want to remember that you're still there, that the world is still spinning, that you, not as responsibilities and problems but as a person like anybody else, are still living in this world, in this outside world; not in what humans created but in what nature gave you. Although this sensation of nature would be much different if Luigi didn't live near a village. Yet you have to care for those small joys when you have no other choice.


End file.
